Kaci sugars have been a bit whacky (to say the least) this last month or so. Mostly "HIGH" with a few "in range" readings sprinkled it. Ever since Halloween... We-(well, mostly me) fears the low so bad - that we started correcting before she was truly even "low" ( below 70)
I know that this has affected many of her readings....
However, after a few weeks of high readings... I had to get my ass in check and chill myself the "F" out! I was beginning to freak Kaci out- and that is "no bueno" - because until there is a cure, this Diabetes shit is forever.... And she can not live in fear of her own body!
So--- we stopped treating lows before they happened and sugars started adjusting up on their own.... But continued to adjust WAY UP! There was no denying we needed to up her Lantus ( long acting insulin) -- but this always scares the shit out of me for several days.... Afraid that the increase will be too much, therefore creating the lows, that really scare the shit out of me! Damnit! Diabetes!
Since the increase in Lantus- her readings have been better, but still not great. I dread the doctor visit in June. I fear her A1C will have dramatically increased- and even though I know in my heart of hearts- we have done the best we can- with our testing, with our carb calculations, with our insulin ratios and night checks... I also know MY emotions and fears have screwed more than a few readings up. -- And as a parent, how frustrating is it to do the best you can, with what you've got, where you are... And still sometimes do it wrong!? Well, if you are a parent.... You know that sometimes happens, but it still sucks ass--- and the guilt is still there.
Today- numbers were mostly good. Only one true "low" reading- but a wonky CGM that is just as frustrating. Arrows pointing up, then down within minutes- shutting off, then asking for additional blood sugar checks. Also, add in the fact that Kaci gas been running HIGH so often that "in range" numbers are giving her the effects of a low- shaky legs, dizziness, light headed! She feels like she needs to have sugar, but can't! Hey, have I mentioned that Diabetes sucks!
So- the moral of this post- is sometimes you just need to type out your feelings- and then you feel a little bit better- WELL...maybe after a nap.....