Monday, April 25, 2011
All because of a popsicle...
On Thursday Kaci was supposed to receive the *reward* of extra recess and a popsicle for all of her hard work at 200 Club! I was devastated when I saw her come out after school with a HUGE frown on her face. I immediately knew something was wrong and when I asked her she began to cry.
She proceeded to tell me it was supposed to be the "Best Day EVER!" - as she had many things to look forward to that day. She had earned the *reward* of sitting at her teacher's desk all day. She was also excited to have Good Friday off the next day for Easter weekend...but most of all she was excited about making the 200 Club for the last time and earning her extra recess and popsicle.
When it was time to go outside- 2 of the 3rd grade student teachers were put in charge and took the children to the playscape. When Kaci got in line to get her popsicle, she informed one of the student teachers that she was going to have to go to the nurse's office to get her shot. When the student teacher questioned her she explained that she is diabetic and has to take a shot each time she eats. The student teacher told her she didn't think a popsicle was worth a shot, took the popsicle away from her and told her to go play!
So....did you just lose your breath??? Do you have a hard knot in the pit of your stomach?? Can you feel how out of place and defeated Kaci must have felt? My heart breaks....
We teach Kaci to advocate for herself. We tell her she must speak of for herself and let others know that she requires more than the average kid when it comes to eating meals or snacking. I am so proud of her for speaking up to the student teacher. For letting her know that she has diabetes and that she would need to go in to see the nurse and get a shot.
We have also taught Kaci to be respectful of authority. We have taught her to listen to adults and to respect what they say. It breaks my heart that that popsicle was taken away from her. That she was refused her *reward* that she had worked so hard for. That she had to watch while all the other children ran around the playground with purple, green and blue lips- while she had to wait for someone to play with until they had finished their treat.
At 9 years old she already had to daunting task of deciding if a snack is "good enough" to take a shot for. At 9 she has to endure 6-7 shots in a day. It is her decision ....and her decision alone to make. How DARE someone else step in to her shoes and make that decision for her....How DARE they!!!
One of the MANY things I HATE about diabetes is that fact that you can't see it. When you look at Kaci she looks healthy and happy- she looks like a normal kid. Not a kid that has to test her sugar BEFORE every meal, snack or in between bite. Not a kid who relies on insulin and shots to live. Not a kid who has to carry a medical bag with her every where she goes counting every morsel of food before it enters her mouth. Not a little girl who has to go the DR. every 3 months to have her A1C1 tested and every 6 months to have her blood drawn. Not a little girl who at age 7 had her WHOLE world turned upside down and inside out for the rest of her life......
So I ask that today you look at yourself and your life and ask.....Do you know how lucky you are?" I hope the student teacher questions herself and her actions today after talking to me....
If you never spent a week in the hospital learning to keep your child alive.
If you've don't have to poke your child's fingers everyday until they bleed.
If you don't have to count every carb that goes into your child's mouth and figure their carb to insulin ratio. (Carrying carb books in your purse and downloading carb aps on your phone)
If you can send your child to school without any extra care, notes for teachers, needles, medicines, glucose tabs etc.
If your child is not under a 504 Plan. (there's a whole other story....)
If you can let your child go off to play at a friends house without constant worry and extra explanation.
If you don't have to set your alarm for 2, 4 and 6 a.m to make sure your child is not going "low."
If the place you used to store the butter in your fridge is not filled with Novalog pen refills and Lantus pens.
If you don't visit the doctor every 3 months.
If you don't have an old plastic soda 3- liter bottle on your counter that serves as your sharps container.
If you don't visit a Lab every 6 months to have bloodwork done.
If you don't have a prescription for numbing cream.
If you don't worry when your child falls down when playing or falls asleep in the car that he or she is actually passed out from a hypoglycemia.
If you don't have to carry a bag full of medical supplies everywhere you go with extra batteries just incase the old ones run out- and juice boxes and glucose tabs.
If you don't know what normal blood sugar is. If you don't know what low blood sugar is. If you don't know what high blood sugar is.
If your life has never been divided into BEFORE and AFTER.
If you don't have to FIGHT so that your child can be like everyone else EVERYDAY!
If you don't know how to give a shot.
If you don't know what insulin smells like.
If you don't juggle carb counts, insulin to carb ratios, daily blood glucose averages, correction counts and A1C1 results.
If you have no idea what any of that means.
If you never had to learn how to give a shot.
If you've never had to answer your child when she asked, "Why me and when will it go away?"
If you don't feel lumps in your child's arm where you have given the shot one too many times.
If you don't stare death in the face every day.
If you don't really know anything about Type 1 diabetes.
If Type 1 Diabetes doesn't live in your house.....because it lives in mine and it NEVER sleeps.
Before July 28, 2009 - I didn't. I had no idea how lucky I was.
Going to bed at night with sweet dreams of the next day. Waking up and letting Kaci sleep in until she woke up on her own- not having to wake her to check her sugar. We could eat breakfast without thought...no counting or adding or dividing. We could go to the park with no "extra baggage." On a hot day we didn't need an ice pack to keep her insulin cold. She could run, swim, dance, and climb- with no worries of "going low." She go to her friends house on a whim.....But now....it has all changed.
And If I try really hard....I can find the good things in our new life...
I know how to count carbs and calculate insulin doses.
I know how to give a shot.
I have a great Endocrinologist to treat my child.
I have enough supplies to keep my child alive and healthy.
I have a school nurse and 3rd grade teacher who take care of my child like she is their own.
I have learned to ask for help, because the Lord knows I can't do it all.
I have learned to cry in the car, the closet, the bathroom, the grocery store and anywhere else I feel the need.
I have been humbled by something that I can not control.
I have learned to enjoy the moment.
I have learned how fragile life is.
I have learned that I am much stronger and braver than I ever thought.....but I still have my weak moments.
I have learned that I can't "kiss it" and make it go away....So we must make the best of it.
I will work hard everyday to make sure that Kaci is not left out, discriminated against or made to feel different. We will always hold HOPE in our hearts. HOPE for better understanding of this disease, Hope for better treatments and of course...HOPE for a CURE!
All because of a popsicle.....
Posted by Andrea at 10:47 AM